Projection is the process through which a person reveals who they really are and what they're really up to by projecting their negative qualities onto you. They will accuse you of the very things they are guilty of, for example:
They’ll accuse you of infidelity when in fact they are the ones cheating
They’ll accuse you of lying when it is actually them whose been telling regular porkies
They accuse you of acting immature when it is them who is behaving spoilt and childish
A narcissistic person will twist any situation in order to avoid taking responsibility and pass it onto you instead.
Another common example of projection is when they call others selfish. Everyone else is selfish for not agreeing to do what they want them to do all the time. They have no integrity when it comes to keeping to their word and keeping promises. Yet, in their eyes, they’re not selfish at all!
So how to respond to Projection?
Maintain strong boundaries
Develop awareness
Educate and empower yourself
Don’t argue or defend yourself
Keep your emotions in check and answers short
Seek professional support
It is crucial to remember that no-one has the right to approve or disapprove of you. Do not allowed yourself to get drawn into an argument or be hoodwinked into a position where you have to defend yourself. Stay grounded and keep your emotions in check. Use short responses (e.g. well that’s your perspective) and exit the conversation post haste.
In the my next blog we will look at the Bread Crumbing technique.